Categories
Get Your Geek On

Ask Mr. Computer! (That’s me.)

Some friends of mine come to me for help with their computers, and I always help them, because that’s the kind of ridiculously nice and smart person I am. I recently helped my friend from Drablands with his Apple computer and now it runs like a dream! Assuming you dream of the things I do, like poisoning little kids and eating lots of hot dogs.

So if you want to, you can ask Mr. Computer (that’s me) about your computer problems! It doesn’t matter if you have a Kaypro or a Harley Packer, I can help you with style!

So, remember the magic phrase: ASK MR. COMPUTER or DIE!

Categories
Freude, Schaden

On The Merits of Fucking Up

I am staring at this website and thinking, “Man, this is cool!” I am also thinking, “What the fuck do all these weird buttons do?” And also, “I see a toolbar with an eyeball and a target and a big T and a magnifying glass. Hm.” Not to mention, “The God of the Internet is an angry, malign God.” And finally, “It sure was nice of my good friend Frykitty to set this all up for me. Either that, or she really hates me.”

More to come, unless I fuck this up beyond all hope, which is, of course, entirely possible.

Categories
Get Your Geek On

How To Find My Incredible Site

First you turn on the computer, and then you go to the Internet by using a bursar. You can get a bursar from businesses like Mosaic or Thumbzilla, you just have to drive over and pick it up. You need a hatchback. Then you go to the Internet Place (IP for short) by typing in your bursar of where you want to go. Sometimes you go to porno even if you don’t want to, but nobody believes you. Anyway, that’s how you net around.