By Harold Pinter.
Skot sits facing a television. It plays advertisements. Skot lights a match and watches it burn.
TV: We’ll tell you how the flooding can affect your commute.
S: I live on a hill in an urban center. I walk to work.
TV: Be prepared for the Romulans.
S: I always am.
TV: Q13 Fox shows you the latest ads to get you to go see the Mariners in action.
S: They do, and I almost always resist.
TV: What does Boonie think?
S: I guess he’s disappointed in me.
TV: WILLARD!
S: Rats.
TV: Foster Farms Chicken.
S: Chicken is good too.
TV: That, my friend, is the sweet smell of Windex.
S: Uuuuuuuuuuuhh.
TV: Somebody hasn’t discovered the new Metamucil.
S: Please.
TV: You can enjoy eggs without the cholesterol.
S: Please.
TV: Inspector Gadget is back with even more gadgets.
S: You’re making me sick. My fiancee will be worried.
TV: Dont trip! U luv her?
S: Of course.
TV: This mother’s day, why not show her you care?
S: Mother’s Day?
TV: Give someone special the night off.
S: I’ll try.
TV: Foster Farms Chicken.
S: I’ll try.
TV: You can enjoy eggs without the cholesterol.
S: I wanted–I wanted–I wanted–
TV: Which came first?
S: She wanted–
TV: Chicken?
S: I–
TV: Egg?
S: I–
TV: Which came first? Which came first? Which came first?
Skot screams.
TV: Do you know your own face?
Silence. He is crouched in the chair.
S: It was a lovely party tonight.
TV: You were the belle of the ball.
S: I was?
TV: Oh yes.
S: Oh, it’s true. I was. (Pause.) I know I was.
Curtain.