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Visual Club

The TV Party

By Harold Pinter.

Skot sits facing a television. It plays advertisements. Skot lights a match and watches it burn.

TV: We’ll tell you how the flooding can affect your commute.

S: I live on a hill in an urban center. I walk to work.

TV: Be prepared for the Romulans.

S: I always am.

TV: Q13 Fox shows you the latest ads to get you to go see the Mariners in action.

S: They do, and I almost always resist.

TV: What does Boonie think?

S: I guess he’s disappointed in me.

TV: WILLARD!

S: Rats.

TV: Foster Farms Chicken.

S: Chicken is good too.

TV: That, my friend, is the sweet smell of Windex.

S: Uuuuuuuuuuuhh.

TV: Somebody hasn’t discovered the new Metamucil.

S: Please.

TV: You can enjoy eggs without the cholesterol.

S: Please.

TV: Inspector Gadget is back with even more gadgets.

S: You’re making me sick. My fiancee will be worried.

TV: Dont trip! U luv her?

S: Of course.

TV: This mother’s day, why not show her you care?

S: Mother’s Day?

TV: Give someone special the night off.

S: I’ll try.

TV: Foster Farms Chicken.

S: I’ll try.

TV: You can enjoy eggs without the cholesterol.

S: I wanted–I wanted–I wanted–

TV: Which came first?

S: She wanted–

TV: Chicken?

S: I–

TV: Egg?

S: I–

TV: Which came first? Which came first? Which came first?

Skot screams.

TV: Do you know your own face?

Silence. He is crouched in the chair.

S: It was a lovely party tonight.

TV: You were the belle of the ball.

S: I was?

TV: Oh yes.

S: Oh, it’s true. I was. (Pause.) I know I was.

Curtain.

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